K.'s Door / K.s dør

K.'s Door

K. found himself in front of a time door. Now he had the chance to go back in time and un-construct his successful rifle construction and a million soldiers, gangsters, militias and wackos wouldn't have a weapon any longer. He pictured their bewilderment as their guns evaporated between their hands, but if it was never constructed and produced it wouldn't be in anyone's hands or memory as there would be nothing to hold or to remember and nothing would vanish as it was never there in the first place. Time enigmas are confusing.

steadily upwards the ivy that hugs the maple

But if he didn't construct that rifle someone else probably would have. Among man's more or less endearing traits is the urge to find new ways - often called 'better ways', 'more effective ways' - of killing others and what would have happened to his Motherland if he left the construction in his head?

“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy upon me a sinner”

went on like a loop in his mind in his grandmother's voice as he considered the options. Where did that come from? Shouldn't be there. The Party didn't like it but grandmother's voice didn't care. It was soothing. It was hope of redemption. After all his many weapon designs had made the way of killing easier and if death became the easy choice … He shook his head.

“Pray without ceasing,

Misha.

Pray.”

And then the door was gone. Now there was only that excruciating pain and the morphine relief that fortunately seemed to appease the ancestors gathered round his bed in this all too white room.

burned by the sun we live on with the ashes

…

notes: K. for Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov, general and weapons constructor

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me a sinner”: The so-called “Jesus Prayer” a predominantly Christian Orthodox tradition. The prayer that's used for “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

burned by the sun: title of film about Stalin's paranoiac regime 

 ...................

 

K.s dør

K. fandt sig selv foran en tidsdør. Nu havde han chancen, for at gå tilbage i tiden og u-konstruere sin succesfulde riffelkonstruktion og en million soldater, gangstere, militser og galninge ville ikke længere have et våben. Han forestillede sig deres forvirring, da deres geværer forduftede mellem deres hænder, men hvis det aldrig var konstrueret og produceret, ville det ikke være i nogens hænder eller erindring, eftersom der ikke ville være noget at holde eller erindre og ikke noget, der kunne fordufte til at begynde med. Tidsgåder er forvirrende.

støt og roligt opad efeuen der krammer ahorntræet

Men hvis han ikke have konstrueret den riffel, er det højst sandsynligt, at en anden ville have gjort det. Blandt menneskets mere eller mindre elskelige træk er trangen til at finde nye måder - ofte kaldet 'bedre måder', 'mere effektive måder' - at slå andre ihjel, og hvad ville der være sket med hans Moderland, hvis han havde ladet konstruktionen forblive i sit hoved?

”Herre Jesus Kristus, Guds søn, forbarm dig over mig en synder”

kørte som et loop i hans hoved med hans bedstemors stemme, mens han overvejede mulighederne. Hvor kom den fra? Den skulle ikke være der. Partiet brød sig ikke om det, men bedstemoderens stemme var ligeglad. Den var lindrende. Den var håb om forløsning. Når det kom til stykket, have alle hans våbenkonstruktioner gjort drab lettere, og hvis døden blev det nemme valg … Han rystede på hovedet.

”Bed uden ophør,

Misha.

Bed.”

Og så var døren væk. Nu var der kun den dér forfærdelige smerte og morfinens befrielse, der heldigvis syntes at berolige forfædrene, der var samlet omkring hans seng i det alt for hvide værelse.

brændte af solen lever vi videre med asken

…

notes: K. for Mikhail Timofeyevich Kalashnikov, general og våbenkonstruktør

”Herre Jesus Kristus, Guds søn, forbarm dig over mig en synder”: Den såkaldte “Jesusbøn”, en fortrinsvis kristen Ortodoks tradition. Det er den bøn, der bruges for at efterleve “bed uden ophør” (1 Thess. 5:17)

brændt af solen: en film om Stalins paranoide regime